Astrology can help us understand more about ourselves and the people we love/date/hopelessly crush on—no matter their gender. For more deets on Virgo compatibility, check out our guide to dating a Virgo man and our gender-neutral guide to dating a Virgo person.
So you’re interested in a Virgo woman…interesting decision. Either you already have your life together or you’re open to getting it together.
Dating a Virgo woman is no joke! They are critical perfectionists who show their love by searching others. When a Virgo woman is on your side, you can expect for her to go out of her way to express her love for you. At her highest vibration, a Virgo woman will call you out on your harmful behaviors and help you find solutions to reconcile with your demons.
Yeah, a Virgo woman is the type of woman you will build an empire with (if you take her seriously). Ruled by Mercury, women who were born when the Sun was transiting through the sign of Virgo are appreciators of communication. However, they tend to hold their own words closely until the time is right.
Virgo is a mutable earth sign, so Virgo women can act like they are either experiencing, preparing for, or recovering from a metaphorical earthquake. They understand that things fall apart, which is why they care so much—and why they can be critical. Remember, they have the best of intentions for those they love, and they will always communicate with you when they feel the time is right.
The Virgo Basics
Birthday: August 23 to September 22
Element: Earth
Modality: Mutable
Ruling planet: Mercury
Represented by: The maiden
Keywords: Service, analytical, fixer, judgmental, ritualistic
Love anthem: “Upgrade U,” by Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z
Famous Virgo women: Beyoncé, Zendaya, Pink, Jada Pinkett Smith, Salma Hayek, Blake Lively, Cameron Diaz, Ava DuVernay, Keke Palmer, Shania Twain, Padma Lakshmi, Evan Rachel Wood, Leslie Jones, Misty Copeland, Jennifer Hudson, Lili Reinhart, Amy Poehler
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A Virgo Woman's Best Traits
Some of Virgo's best traits have everything to do with how she cares for those around her. Being ruled by the planet Mercury, Virgo is about all expression and movement. Therefore your Virgo woman is likely to value change, growth, and to some extent, unpredictability— even if she outwardly despises it at first. Change is difficult and being a mutable earth sign, she is stuck in a dichotomy. Stabilize and change, grow and move, rest and release. As a resultm she has learned how to balance leaving when the soil is no longer healthy, and staying where she can optimistically observe potential.
Virgo women can come off as analytical and critical; just trust that how she expresses those traits mean everything! If she’s in chaos mode, her criticism is often impulsive and petty, picking apart without being mindful of boundaries and timing. When she’s at a fair neutral, her criticism is relatively thoughtful and can be helpful. However, she may lack consideration for how it may come off, and get stuck in self-righteous approval— the belief that because she thinks it is right that it should be law. When she’s in humanistic mode, she has the capacity to hold her tongue when she recognizes someone may benefit from her insights at a later time, or that they need to learn a lesson on their own. She becomes a master of discerning how to logically and consciously support her loved ones.
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A Virgo Woman's Worst Traits
Virgo's worst traits have everything to do with speed and a poorly-managed ego. Virgo is all about service. This sign feels most authentic when aiding others and providing insights. When a Virgo woman is able to find a solution or solve a puzzling riddle, then she is able to proudly bask in her achievement. This is when poorly-managed ego can play a significant factor in how she is perceived. Virgos are completely capable of gracefully and maturely enjoying the fruits of their ideas. When they are right, to them it means they were able to catch clues and appropriately piece together an otherwise confusing and mysterious world. The more complexities she observes, the more pride she feels when she offers up an appropriate route of progress.
But in the cases when you avoid taking her advice and she is right, well, that can be annoying. Some Virgo women are polite and at worst might simply listen and say nothing. Virgos who have yet to do work on themselves may meet your missteps with contempt. Sarcastically expressing, “I told you so,” even if they never form their lips to make that sound. Virgo women may struggle with the timing of expressing advice, or of saying, “I told you so" when they're right. No one is right 100% of the time, and sometimes Virgo's strength is in modesty.
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The Best Matches for a Virgo Woman
For fun and growth, the best matches for a Virgo woman are Capricorn and Pisces. Remember earlier when I said Virgo women are always preparing for an earthquake? A Capricorn is exactly the type of stable planner that a Virgo woman can appreciate. Together, the two will develop plans for a better tomorrow. A Pisces encourages a Virgo woman to take time to dream and relax and reminds her that failure and falling are a part of the process.
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The Worst Matches for a Virgo Woman
No offense to Leo and Aquarius, but 0/10, I do not recommend. I mean, you can do whatever you want to do, but as an astrologer, I’d be very careful about this pairing. With Leo, Virgo will likely learn a lot of secrets about themselves and can even develop a stronger sense of self-esteem. However, Virgo women may develop a feeling that Leo is not on her side. She expects Leo to show up for her and understand her, and unfortunately, that may never come. Actually, Virgo may feel like Leo will never fully know her.
With Aquarius, there is likely a grueling sense of exhaustion and, at times, exploitation. Virgo and Aquarius may initially bond over shared ideologies and passions, and they can even work well together. But Aquarius will likely end up pulling Virgo into too many projects without a consideration for Virgo’s need for solitude, leading to an exhausting relationship.
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A First Date With a Virgo Woman
This might sound a little boring, but a nice, sit-down meal is one of the best routes you can go with Virgo. Whether it’s breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner is entirely up to you. Virgo enjoys the process of getting to know a person, which means there is no need to rush the process. Show them that you pay attention to detail by picking a place that requires a reservation, especially if it’s a new or trendy restaurant. Just try not to choose a location that’s super busy, because Virgo women’s social battery can be drained pretty easily.
When on the date, remember that your goal is to get to know each other. Ask her what she’s passionate about and get her talking about what matters to her. Pay attention and keep eye contact. She will be paying attention to you, so you should probably make sure your clothes are ironed, nails are done, hair is styled, and face is on fleek. Once it’s time to end the date, it’s entirely up to you how much you want to show her you got the “zaddy energy.” What’s zaddy energy? Your willingness to take care of her—just don’t bust your bank, bb.
Sex With a Virgo Woman
If you’ve ever listened to a Beyoncé song, then you should know that sex with a Virgo is a mystical act. Virgos come off as composed and proper when you first meet them; it’s a part of their presentation. They recognize that the world is watching, so they are careful with how they present themselves. Now, once you get them behind closed doors…that’s another story.
A Virgo woman is open-minded, to say the least. She becomes increasingly open-minded the more established she feels in a relationship. Remember, Virgo women like to keep up with the appearance, so they can’t get kinky with just anyone. Once you do get them in their comfort zone, spontaneous acts and flamboyant attire are sure to follow.
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A Virgo Woman's Romantic Relationships
If only you could project a Virgo woman’s mind onto a screen in order to fully appreciate how deeply she loves. Move over Scorpio, we have a new obsessor in town— JK. Sort of. It may be a slight challenge to see the way a Virgo woman loves as sentimental. She takes pleasure in being constructive and thoughtful. A relationship that is orderly and constructive might be exactly what she needs to reach her full potential, however, that doesn’t mean everyone will be able to appreciate her and get on board with her way of loving. In a romantic relationship, she is all about acts of service. Reviewing your resume, providing guidance, and even moonlighting as your mentor are all experiences you could have with a Virgo lover.
A potential issue is if she lacks water sign placements like Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces or fire signs placements like Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. If she's all earth and air, you could feel like your passion is all logic and lacking passion. But if you were to project a Virgo woman’s mind onto a screen, you would see she is very emotional and affectionate. She daydreams about her lover and shows how much she cares through practical forms of affection. She benefits from experiencing love with someone who is willing to take the lead when it comes to mushy-gushy expressions of love. She may be a little aloof at first, but with the right person, she'll soften her demeanor and let her feelings show.
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A Virgo Woman's Friendships
Remember this: There are levels to friendship. In some places in the U.S., it's pretty common for people to call anyone they know on a first name basis their “friend.” In some cases, people may even teach their children to view health care professionals and authority figures as their “friend.” But simply put, friendship is a sense of familiarity and comfort with another person— ideally enough that you can be your full self.
The first stage of friendship is acquaintanceship, which is a fancy term for you still don’t know them well. If I were put on the spot to guess how long acquaintanceship lasts, my guess is approximately three months. Within those three months, you will know you aren’t that close to Virgo. When first getting to know a Virgo woman, you may struggle to feel as though she wants to be known by you. She’ll be private, at times stand-offish, and unintentionally self-respecting. But after three to six months of consistent communication, you begin to move into the "actually friends" section of her world. At this point, she will begin to show her softer side, share her dreams, and potentially fall off the face of the Earth at times. She feels secure enough in her friendships to know she can create distance. Just trust she’ll always come back—and that you can communicate with her about how her behavior makes you feel. If you don’t stay within her realm of close friendships, or if there’s no need to go there, you’ll naturally fall into her sense of community. You may not speak every day, but she will show her appreciation through the way she nurtures you.
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A Virgo Woman at Work
Even though a Virgo woman is stereotyped as an endless giver, even she has her limits and less than altruistic moments. In terms of career, Virgo women thrive in humanitarian settings and helping professions. You may see her enter the legal field as a civil rights attorney or a corporate setting as the Director of Social Responsibility. Because she both knows how to manage her emotions and focus on her work, she can become an instrumental force in creating necessary social change.
Now, it’s important to understand the distinction between emotions and boundaries. Emotions are the way people communicate what they are sensing, and boundaries have everything to do with limits and consequences. A Virgo woman is good at withholding her emotional expression. Of course, she has emotions and does express them. But in the workplace, she knows how to keep her tender self private. On the other hand, a Virgo woman who seems like a diligent worker could be someone who sees work as a form of escapism, which can develop into a lack of boundaries at work. She might into a "yes woman" whenever someone needs help, losing sight between what she needs and what she is able to provide. But once she is able to put her foot down, she becomes a force to be reckoned with.
All About Virgo
Virgo operates from a place of inward thinking. This is not to suggest that they’re unwilling to express their thoughts—they just recognize the dangers of speaking too soon and without surety. Rest assured, when a Virgo woman speaks up, it’s after careful thought and observation. Virgos serve others, and that should be treated with respect. They go well above the call of duty for their loved ones. If you need someone to help you write a résumé, a Virgo will find you a coach. If you need someone to double-check your work, there is a Virgo woman in your corner rooting for you and willing to go above and beyond.
The closer you get to her, the more you’ll begin to recognize her dreamy nature. Virgo women do have a reputation for being sticks in the mud, but that’s just because they care about holding themselves with a sense of pride. If you have the privilege of ever really seeing her, what you will find is someone who’s nothing short of magical.
The Most Virgo-y Virgo T-Shirt in Black
She’s a dreamer and a visionary, which is exactly what fuels her willingness to grow and improve. Within a relationship, she will be your source of inspiration. She wants to listen to your dreams, to encourage you to think bigger, and to imagine a world filled with fulfillment. Be patient with her, because she is slow to let you get to know her and even slower to love. Good things tend to come with time, and she will be your blessing if you’re patient. When you have earned her trust and respect, she will structure her life in tandem with yours. Similar to a two-person bike, she will pedal with you, as long as you’re willing to match her speed. As an intimate partner, her vulnerability comes without thought. She is intuitive, doing and saying what she feels in moments of passion.
Whether as a friend or a lover, Virgo women are gentle and nurturing. A Virgo woman recognizes that everyone has different needs and ways of understanding affection. She can flip through emotions and feelings often because she works hard to be an empathic person. If you’re ever able to meet her circle of friends, you will find that she surrounds herself with people who care and show compassion.
She is an overachiever and often spreads herself thin because she’s always working tirelessly for good outcomes. Her labor should not go unappreciated—in fact, she will love it if you take the time to notice her. To know her is to love her. Ask her about her day, and celebrate the unconventional and practical ways she shows love. Doing so will give her all the reason to love you back.
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Monisha “Six” Holmes is an astrologer and Master of Social Work (MSW) who covers love, relationships, and wellness. She earned her MSW at Columbia University, where she specialized in contemporary social issues. Aside from writing, Monisha is the founder of Black Women Being, a media platform aimed at promoting wellness, spirituality, and justice.
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