You might feel like you know everything about your partner, but TBH, no matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always room to learn more. Enter: couples quizzes—a great way to learn more about your partner, their values, and strengthen your relationship as a whole, says clinical sexologist and co-founder of The Swann Center, Valerie Poppel, PhD.
"Games are a fun and non-threatening activity that allow individuals to open up and share their authentic selves," Poppel explains. Plus, think about it: How often do you and your partner really take the time to communicate deeply and emotionally? "Most people are so busy throughout the hustle of the day that they only talk about logistics and surface-level conversations," explains clinical sexologist and psychotherapist, Kristie Overstreet, PhD.
But asking deep questions is essential when it comes to building the intimacy and connection needed to sustain a connection, Overstreet says. “Over time, we tend to put our partner in a box and start seeing them in a simplified way,” explains clinical relationship psychotherapist Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder of Bay Area CBT Center. But people evolve, and it's important that when they're partnered up, that partner is excited to get to know every version of them.
Quizzes can help you “rediscover [your partner’s] complexities and ongoing development,” says Lev. And because we're always changing, there will always be something new you can learn about your boo, adds Overstreet. So don’t be afraid to ask your partner all the questions—just don’t make it feel super interview-y. Overstreet suggests using guided questions in a game format, versus, like, interrogating your partner at dinner. This keeps things more ~low stress~.
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But First, How It Works
We chatted with experts to come up with 55 of the best questions to ask your S.O. To play, each of you will answer the following Qs based on what you think your partner's answer is. You can write down all your answers at once or go one-by-one, taking turns revealing the answers to each other. Whatever you decide, Overstreet says you want to make sure you have plenty of time set aside to chat through the responses—being rushed or distracted isn't the move here.
If either of you gets a question wrong as you go along, simply take the time to talk about the answer and learn more about your partner. The goal isn't to get 100 percent, it's to walk away feeling even more in sync with your boo. So grab your partner and get to playing, because the prize is in the bond you're about to build.
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Basic Questions:
It's a good idea to start the game off with some seemingly simple Qs, but Overstreet says that doesn't mean these are any less important to ask. Chances are your partner's favorite color, book, or movie might have evolved since you last asked, so have fun getting to know where they're at right now, and remember—these will probably change again in the future. Besides, you should *always* know how your partner takes their coffee because hi, that's just Romance 101.
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Questions About the Past and Future:
Once you know where you're both at today, the next step is to chat about where you've been and where you want to go. Overstreet says it's important to talk about the past and future to see how your viewpoints are evolving. "The way you thought about [life] when you first started dating may have changed," she explains, which is why these questions are super valuable. This can give you insight surrounding where they want their life to go and how past actions are still affecting them today.
Questions About Values and Lifestyle:
Having aligning values—and respecting the ones that don't align—is major when it comes to forging a connection that lasts. But sometimes talking about personal beliefs can feel high-stakes, which is why going into this game with an open mind is essential. If your partner has a differing viewpoint than you—or simply just clams up—as you're going along, Overstreet says to take a step back. "Don't force or manipulate them to answer a question," she says. "Respect their boundaries."
If something *is* brought up during the game that needs attention or causes a heated interaction, move on or pause. Then, pick a later time to chat when you're both calm and go into the convo with an open mind.
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Outside the Box/Fun Questions:
After some heavier questions, a round of light-hearted ones is just what Overstreet orders. "Remember, [these] games are to be fun and enjoyed," she says. And even though these Qs seem kinda silly, they still offer plenty of good insight like how your partner seeks validation and what they value in a home and in themselves.
Questions about Sex and Intimacy:
It wouldn't be a couple's quiz without some steamy Qs, but these expert-suggested questions go beyond pillow talk. "A healthy and connected relationship is one where sex and intimacy are discussed," says Overstreet. "As we change, grow, and evolve, the role of sex can also change."
Talking about your view on sex—as well as your current wants, needs, and desires—is an important way to "ensure that you both are evolving your emotional and physical intimacy within the relationship," Overstreet explains. Plus as an extra bonus, it makes for some v hot foreplay.
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Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
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